Loneliness 3

Embodiments of Love!

Am I alone?

Or am I feeling lonely?

Many have already left for their home;

Rekha’s parents are chatting with her.

They also are leaving now; “Rahul, sorry, we need to go; take care; things happen as designed”

Gone

“Rahul, are you on leave?”

“No mamma”

“Are you okay?”

“I will make rasam with pepper; you will be alright”

“Okay maa”

The above is one of the many dialogues I and mother had;

Tears are rolling down the cheeks;

“Rahul, I need to go to office; there is an important meeting; sorry”

“Okay, carry on”

I am really alone;

There is nobody to talk to;

Rekha is gone.

I visit mother’s room; there are many books; I find a diary;

Can’t I be whole?

No, with imperfections, I cannot be a perfected soul;

One page reads like this:

“I do not want to survive as an unwanted entity; old age is a curse. I feel like a half dried rug - with all its purpose rung out; all are busy; my phone never rings; even when I call, they excuse and disconnect fast.; what is the purpose of my existence?”

“Oh my God?Mother also has undergone such a torture”

“Should I turn religious to escape the nightmare?”

“This phenomenon will happen to me also; names may change; what do I do?”

धन्यवाद:

See you in the next episode

With lots of love

श्वस्ति , मङ्गलं भूयात्

राजगोपालः

rajagopal

26/03/2016

Loneliness 2

Embodiments of Love!

Next day

Mother is busy in the kitchen making lunch box for me and Rekha.

I leave the bedroom;

Rekha is sleeping

“Amma, how are you?”

“I am okay Rahul”

In the office I become busy as usual…

Meeting…

Resolutions…

Signing of contracts…

At 3 pm I remember my mother

“ Maa “

“Rahul”

“How are you amma?”

I am fine Rahul, have taken lunch?

No amma, a little busy

Please take on time Rahul, your health will get spoiled

I hang up

Evening, there is a crowd in front of my house.

Neighbor aunty is seen

“ Rahul, sorry Amma’s health is serious; I called the doctor;

“Doctor, how is amma?”

“She is fast deteriorating, chances are very less”

“Amma, what happened?”

I am ok Rahul, I wanted to be with my grandchildren but I fear that may not happen; take care of Rekha; where is Rekha

She has a meeting in the office

Okay convey my wishes to her

Cremation is over

I feel alone

I sit on her cot

Am I alone or lonely?

धन्यवाद:

See you in the next episode

With lots of love

श्वस्ति , मङ्गलं भूयात्

राजगोपालः

rajagopal

18/03/2016

Loneliness 1

Embodiments of Love!

Note:

Many of are suffering from Loneliness.

I wanted to write on that from various perspectives.

Please write to me so that I can add flavor.

I am the bridegroom;

Bride is next to me;

Lots of relatives;

Lots of friends;

Breathless crowd;

Jokes…happiness…everywhere

The marriage time ( muharat) approaches;

Bride is made my wife;

Lunch is grand;

Even before I could realize that marriage ceremony is over, many have started leaving the hall;

See you again….Handshakes….Hugs….

Hall is empty…only parents and unmarried sister;

Oh they were my original companions!

Honey moon is over;

Enjoyed the stay with wife;

I am back at home.

One conversation:

Father: Hey Lakshmi (my mother), how do you feel now?

Mother: Fine pa;( this is how mother addresses my father)

F: Is it that Rahul (it’s me), is no more ours?

M: Why do you say so?

F: I asked him to join me, on my trip to Delhi; he replied that he needed to ask Rekha (my wife).

M: what is wrong?

F: Nothing

Next day morning:

Father is not well;

Mother takes him to a doctor;

“Mama, what is doctor’s opinion?”

“Just normal health problem associated with age Rahul”

“Ok then”

This morning father expired;

Again lots of people;

Mother is seen crying silently;

Her sister and a neighbor are consoling;

My wife is with her parents.

Ceremonies are over.

Amma is not well from yesterday.

I and Rekha are getting ready for office;

Sister is on her way to college;

Evening

“Mama, how are you now”, it is me on phone;

Mother: I am fine Rahul, did you have lunch? I could not add pickle in your lunch box; sorry, giddiness made me forget”

I: it is ok mama; take care.

Night:

I cross mother’s room; I overhear mother whispering to somebody; I become curious.

Mother:

“Are you happy over there?”

I know, you miss me;

Oh no I have a few responsibilities left to be done, which you were supposed to complete. Don’t worry I will complete.

I peeped inside…it is mother talking in her sleep;

I touched her head; high temperature;

Is she alone?

Note: I will write more; this is an inspired writing.

धन्यवाद:

See you in the next episode

With lots of love

श्वस्ति , मङ्गलं भूयात्

राजगोपालः

rajagopal

09/03/2016